


Brekker's Ghost

by thealphadog



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Angst, Canon Continuation, F/M, Five Years Later, Fluff, Kanej - Freeform, M/M, Multi, POV Inej Ghafa, POV Jesper Fahey, POV Kaz Brekker, POV Wylan Van Eck, Post-Book 2: Crooked Kingdom, Romance, Unrequited Love, wesper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-03-17 21:29:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18973105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphadog/pseuds/thealphadog
Summary: Inej Ghafa was strong; gifted; balanced. But when she was around Kaz, those traits either doubled or dwindled. She could be weak around him; damaged; scared. She could also take down seven men with one wave of Kaz’s black-gloved hand.Four years since their infamous Ice Court robbery; four years since Kaz had waved goodbye to Inej--The Wraith is finally back in Ketterdam, but she didn't come just to feed the crows.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! Sorry I've been gone for a few months. 
> 
> I recently read the Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom books and, honestly, I'm still not over them. I don't think I ever will be.  
> I've been wanting to write something for a while, and I can't get these books out of my head, so I just had to write a continuation, purely so my heart can move on. 
> 
> Enjoy x

**Inej**

 

The sun shone harshly in her eyes, but Inej still wouldn’t dare to blink. This was the first time she’d come back from Ravka and elsewhere; the first time she’d laid her eyes on Ketterdam since leaving with her mother and father, four years prior. It hadn’t changed one bit. The houses leaned on one another, crumbling at their seams, stapled with gems and cheap decorations in an attempt to be lavish; her home. Her _old_ home.

 

“Bring her in slowly, boys. Dock her at twenty-two,” Her crew sprang into action, flicking their heads forward and getting on with her command. Inej _was_ Captain, after all. A year back home with her family, and then the open sea; the scent of freshly spilt blood in the morning; no trace left of the slavers that had once been there before. The Wraith was her own flesh and blood and Kaz was the reason she had her.

 

Inej Ghafa was strong; gifted; balanced. But when she was around Kaz, those traits either doubled or dwindled. She could be weak around him; damaged; scared. She could also take down seven men with one wave of Kaz’s black-gloved hand.

 

Kaz Brekker. Dirtyhands. A scoundrel; a murderer; a thief. His grin that so rarely got an appearance. His hands even less so, being covered up every waking minute. His chest rippled and worn, untouched. Inej allowed herself to think of him again, as The Wraith trailed into the dock at Fifth Harbour. She allowed herself to focus on the muddy colours of the buildings and it’s walls. The countless people in pantomime masks, throwing money and shouting _Mother, may I?_ ’s. The feel of Kaz’s soft fingers against her palms and his lips brushing her neck.

 

Had it really been four years? She’d been a child, drowning under the very silks that she wore, whispering sweet-nothings into the ears of random men. Then Kaz had arrived. “I can help you,” She uttered. He hadn’t so much as glanced back at her.

 

Oh, how things changed.

 

Inej liked to imagine the story differently; instead of at her door, Kaz appeared at her window, wrapping on the glass with his bare knuckles. His shirt was unbuttoned and exposed his collarbones. Brittle, pale, and cold; but beautiful. His hair, black as the crows that sit outside on the Slat roof, draped over his angular face.

 

The face of a thief.

 

The face of her saviour.

 

Inej would open the window, her eyes plastered on his. He’d look back at her with the same fervour. His long legs would make no work of the window sill and then he was inside her chambers; bare; vulnerable;

 

Hers.

 

She’d never let herself imagine further. It made her skin burn ferociously. But she also wanted to explore it deeper. It’s true that Kaz Brekker was the reason Inej was still alive after being under Tante Heleen’s bony claws; but to be alive with no purpose is as good as the Menagerie. Kaz gave her a purpose; he gave her a home.

 

And in Ketterdam, home is almost impossible.

 

“Boat’s docked, Cap.” Inej breathed out deeply, letting her anxieties flutter away with the Reaper’s Barge ash. She nodded once at her crew, picked up her belongings and a small barrel of Ravkan rum, and left her ship.  The cobblestones were Ketterdam’s veins. So subtle you barely noticed them beneath your feet, but every stone held a memory. Inej forced her head up high. She wouldn’t come back here and not show off how prosperous she was; how much she’d grown. As she rounded the corner before the Barrel, Inej clenched her jaw; hard. The Menagerie was up ahead, and she forced herself to glance forward.

 

She stopped in her tracks. The building that once imprisoned her looked transformed. Mask-less people queued outside the door; their wallets full of money to spend. Those who were leaving looked content; the faint murmur of a soon to be started conversation on their lips. No longer was it shrouded in fake silks, scattered with thousands of fraudulent gems and jewels or completely overwhelmed by the rose scent that Tante Heleen pumped into every room—

 

A gallery. It was an art gallery.

 

_The Menagerie was no more._

 

Inej didn’t ponder over the reason that hellish place fell through; because she knew who was to blame. Inside her soul, though, she hoped Heleen’s indentures had been taken care of. She prayed that they were safe; that they’d found themselves surrounded by happiness. Then her feet were moving again, focusing on what she’d really come back to do.

 

The Barrel was the back of her hand, ingrained in her very skin, yet she had never walked through it like this before. Head up, hair down, her trousers tailored, and her shirt unbuttoned just below her collar, exposing part of the tattoo she’d had for just over two years, done by a Fabrikator that she’d rescued just outside of Elling.

 

He hadn’t asked questions, though Inej knew he’d wanted to.

 

“Strange design, but as you wish,” The grisha had said, his skin as pale as the Fjerdan snow. He was twenty years old, older than Inej back then, when she was newly turned nineteen. His eyes were silver, his hair jet black. He’d looked ghost-like when Inej had found him, huddled underneath stacks of anti-grisha propaganda, barely alive. Her knives were soaked in _druskelle_ blood, her eyes letting out streams of tears that she hadn’t been able to hold back since the first cut.

 

Inej had thought of Matthias in those moments before she went in for the kill. Before their ambush, she’d overseen one witch-hunter feeding his wolf. He’d looked normal; he’d smiled; he’d laughed; and then he’d turned to his second guard on duty and said in Fjerdan “Did you hide that grisha scum? Vant can’t find out or we’re done for.” Inej had received a tip two days prior on the coast just outside Elling. A small _druskelle_ camp had been harbouring grisha against their normal regulations, mutilating them, torturing them; just for _fun_. The law in Fjerda had changed; every fit grisha would be able to stand trial, for real this time. These _druskelle_ hadn’t obeyed.

 

Inej had sprung to action after the tip, trekking to East Elling. That’s where she’d found the camp, and the culprits. “Relax, Vant will never know.” The other _druskelle_ had placed his hand on his brother’s shoulder, smiling; and Inej’s blood had boiled.

 

Inej sheathed her knives, wiping her hands on her trousers. She’d knelt down, face to face with the boy. “Let’s get you out of here.” A tear dropped to the floor of the cabin, soaking through a page of propaganda. Even in death, she knew Matthias would never forgive her for that act; she’d lost part of her soul that day. The Wraith sailed out of Fjerda for the second time. Passing the port for Djerholm, Inej’s mind wandered to two years before;

 

They got on the ship, breathing shallow, eyes unblinking. They’d just robbed the Ice Court and got away with it. Nina sat with Matthias, Wylan with Jesper, and Kaz with her at the stern. Six crows still alive, bloodied and bruised, but still alive. _We’ll be Kings and Queens, Inej. Kings and Queens._

 

She hadn’t seen any of them in over four years. Wylan always managed to send her letters, topped off with a seal of his own instead of his fathers. He’d informed her that Jesper had gone to Novyi Zem with Colm after a month of living on Van Eck’s estate. He was enhancing his Fabrikator abilities and, according to Colm, was doing very well. He came back to Ketterdam every few months for a few days at a time. Jesper often signed his name in some of Wylan’s letters, so she knew he was doing just fine. Wylan missed Jesper a lot.

 

Nina was the same. The occasional letter, but they were always very sparse. Inej dreamed of having Nina on her vessel, travelling the world and taking down those who deserved it alongside her. But now, Nina Zenik was a warrior out in the open. Despite _parem_ , she’d harnessed her new powers and was working alongside Zoya and Genya under King Nikolai. Ravka had never been so prosperous; though there was still a lot to do.

 

Kaz had sent nothing. Inej hadn’t expected him to. He hated small sentiments like that.

 

If he hated those kinds of sentiments, then Inej knew he would probably resent her coming back now. She hadn’t meant to, but her arrival in Ketterdam met up with the date that Kaz had bought her indenture from the Menagerie. Five years ago, he’d saved her. A year after that, he’d set her free.

 

Inej’s feet moved off their own accord, taking her around the Barrel streets as if she’d never left. She craved to get back on their rooves, jumping from building to building, unseen and unheard. But instead, she opted only for one building—

 

The Slat sat, slumped, in front of her. It was ugly and looked ready to fall down, but Inej knew that was all a façade. Inside, she would bet money upon Kaz having refurbished the entire place. But she wouldn’t be going inside for long. She scaled the side of the Slat in seconds, her limbs recognising the route once more, and stopped outside the top floor window; Kaz’s office. Inej slid the window open and dropped to the floor noiselessly, taking in the familiar space that she’d spent the better part of a year in, and some of the bad parts.

 

Besides the desk and the muddy single bed, it was deserted. The desk was clear, there were no sheets on the mattress. Kaz’s aura still loomed over the room, as if it would never truly leave, but she knew he didn’t associate with this space anymore. _Too many memories?_ Or not enough. Her eyes danced around the room; the corner, where Kaz would wash himself in front of her occasionally, not knowing what he was doing to her; the bed, which Inej was certain he’d never actually slept in; the door, where she prayed he’d barge in from, fresh from a fight, cane in hand and glints in his thieving eyes. _Ready for another, Wraith?_

 

She waved the image away and opted for doing what she came here for. On Kaz’s desk, she placed the small barrel of Ravkan rum and a letter she’d written a few nights ago. Then she slipped silently through the window once more and dropped to the cobblestones without a single trace she’d ever stepped foot in the Slat again. She didn’t go back the way she came.

 

It was a high possibility that Kaz wouldn’t show up. There was also a chance he would, but it was very slim. Inej didn’t care, though. She’d done something for herself, and hopefully for the street rat that went by Brekker. Inej straightened her shirt and decided to uncuff the sleeves, rolling them up to her slender elbows. Without fear, she strolled right into the building; home to the Barrel King himself; The Crow Club.


	2. Chapter 2

**Kaz**

 

The streets of Ketterdam were dull when there was nothing to shoot at, but Kaz would still stroll through them in the daytime. He could show his face again without any repercussions. He was as good as any free man, if not  _ freer _ ; that’s what it was like when you were the King of the Barrel. Pekka Rollins and Jan Van Eck; both gone; leaving behind nothing but their soiled reputations, and a substantial amount of kruge that Kaz took happily and with a smile. Kaz had expected Rollins to be back in a year or so, but the lump of a man had never returned. 

 

The Kaelish Prince stayed under quarantine for longer than the Emerald Palace, which oh so suddenly broke out in a large fire a month after Pekka had ran. It hadn’t been Kaz’s first idea to burn the place to the ground, but the next thing he knew his collar was up over his face and a burning bottle of whiskey was being thrown from his hand right through the casino’s front window. 

 

No mourners. No funerals. No one would remember Pekka Rollins.

 

Kaz’s days were the same. The kruge pile grew. The stock markets rose. Fifth Harbour was as good as dead, but the Barrel was still thriving in the unorthodox way it always had. Kaz rose up the ranks, building an empire that Ketterdam had never seen before and, just after his twenty-first birthday, the street rat had unveiled his newest investment; the Ketterdam Art Gallery. 

 

Business was booming--

 

But Kaz hadn’t gone a single day without thinking of  _ her _ . 

 

She was probably on some distant sea, sails high, sun shining, just waiting to dock in front of another unsuspecting slaver and cut them down to the dirt. Kaz thought back to their first meeting often. She was trapped, living a life that no Suli god would have wished upon their own creation. Kaz never listened to Inej talk about him buying her indenture from Tante Heleen; she made him out to be a good man in those moments, when the truth was he’d done it out of selfishness. 

 

_ I need a spider.  _

 

Even when Inej was on the brink of death, draped in his arms, covered in her blood, his mouth chose the worst things to say.  _ I wouldn’t want to lose out on my investment _ . Kaz squinted into the sun, trying not to scowl at the past. 

 

If he wasn’t so stubborn, maybe he’d try praying to her god.  _ Bring her back to me.  _ Inej would laugh harder than all others if she ever knew what went on inside his head sometimes. Four years without her Suli phrases was dawning on him. Had it really been that long? That long since his fingers had scraped her palm, since his mouth had pressed against her skin. 

 

Four years without his gloves. 

 

It was hellish. Often repulsive; but Kaz Brekker was no quitter. He washed his hands at least thirty times a day, but it was true. Since he’d waved Inej and her parents away on her ship to Ravka, he’d never donned the mythical gloves of Dirtyhands again. 

 

Ketterdam was as busy today as any other, the streets bustling with masked men and women off to enjoy their pleasures. Kaz mainly stayed around the Lid on his walks, opting out of seeing the slowly crumbling Fifth Harbour he’d helped destroy, but his mind wandered. The scent in the air was different. Reaper’s Barge burned in the distance, but he hardly noticed it like he usually did.  _ What’s this? _

 

His feet didn’t hesitate when he started towards the harbour. If anything, his leg was moving faster than normal.  _ Why is my heart racing? _ There were warning bells in Kaz’s ears, unknown of their origin. His bones shook inside his body, his breathing accelerating. And then he rounded to corner to the docks--

 

The Wraith sat in the harbour, docked at number twenty-two. 

 

It was unmistakable. That was  _ her.  _

 

Inej; who sat on his window sill and fed the crows. Inej; the Wraith that had opened him up more than he’d ever care to admit. Inej; someone that, despite all the antics that have happened in his life, Kaz Brekker would never fucking forget. It scared him how fast he swivelled on his heels, crow-headed cane firmly grasped in his knuckles, headed for the Slat with the smallest shred of hope that she’d actually be there. 

 

_ Get it together.  _ Kaz scolded himself. He wouldn’t get his hopes up. He couldn’t; because if he got to the Barrel just to find her not there, he knew it would break him. Kaz rounded the corner to the Slat, flicking his trench coat behind him. He pulled open the heavy, wooden door that acted as their protection and propelled himself into the kitchen. Anika whipped her head up at him from the table, her feet resting on a chair beside her. “Boss?” She furrowed her brows. 

 

Kaz scanned the room in seconds. She wasn’t here. He bounded out of the room, cane whacking the floor with every limp, until he swung open the door to his office; his  _ new _ office, located on the ground floor of the four storey building.  _ Nothing.  _ He couldn’t see, sense, anything different. He knew she hadn’t been here. 

 

_ She hasn’t been here. Because she’s  _ never _ been here.  _

 

Inej didn’t return to the Slat after the Ice Court and Van Eck; before she left Ketterdam. She wouldn’t have known Kaz moved his office. Kaz ignored the throbbing pain in his leg and headed for the stairs, taking two at a time, his knee on the brink of giving in, and crashed through the office door on the top floor. Silence met his ears. He hadn’t been up here in over a year. Dust covered every surface and cascaded throughout the room. 

 

It was so  _ empty.  _ Of life, of anything. 

 

The sun’s rays hit his eyes through the window behind his desk, casting a glow over an object that hadn’t been there when Kaz moved downstairs for good. 

 

Kaz strode forward, eyes plastered on the small barrel of rum that had been delicately placed in the middle of his old desk. Beside it sat a letter. He picked it up, his bare fingers tracing the parchment slowly before he popped open the shiny seal on the back. His hands shook as his eyes read, thrice, over her handwriting. 

 

_ I promise I won’t feed the crows this time.  _

 

_ Inej _

 

“Kaz, what the  _ hell _ \--,” Anika broke the silence from the door frame. Kaz lifted his hand to silence her. 

 

“How long has this been here.” It wasn’t a question. Anika knitted her brows together once more, but didn’t step into the room. 

 

“No one comes up here anymore.” She said, her voice softer this time. Kaz folded up the letter and shoved it in his inside pocket. He straightened out his cuffs and pushed his hair back, taking in a deep breath. He banged his cane on the floor once, then left the room, shoving past Anika without so much as a glance in her direction. 

 

The Crow Club was two streets away from the Slat. It was a walk that Kaz had done more times than he could count. Ketterdam was his playground, a kingdom that he’d built from nothing; a kingdom that he wouldn’t have without his Crows. The only other person who knew the cobblestones like he did was Inej. Kaz imagined her leather shoes, traversing yet another rooftop to do his bidding, to gain information for him to use against another unsuspecting mercher. Her fingers wrapped around the Church spire, looking down at the whole of Ketterdam as the witching hour approached. How quickly she could braid her silk hair, ready for another mess that was awaiting the Dregs. 

 

_ Please, my darling Inej, treasure of my heart, won’t you do me the honour of acquiring me a new hat?  _ Her face in that moment had been solid gold. Arms crossed, mouth straight, her eyes boring straight through him. Kaz missed that look. The only person in Ketterdam who could ever sneak up on him; and he’d let her go. 

 

_ Not this time.  _

 

Kaz didn’t stop to think about what he’d say if Inej was at the Crow Club. He didn’t think twice when he pushed open the plush doors and entered into the dimly lit casino he’d built; brick by brick. All he thought about was her; how she’d look; what she’d say; what they’d do, being in proximity to one another again after so long.

 

The Crow Club was busy, like it usually was. Dealers dealt their cards. Players lost their kruge. Losers drowned their sorrows at the bar with another round. Kaz scanned the room as subtly as he could. A woman in a red dress sat on the knee of a man winning big at Three Man Bramble; another sat daintily on a black velvet sofa in the corner, laughing at something the man opposite her had said, wishing he’d pour her another glass of champagne; and at the bar—

 

Long, dark hair trailed down her back in waves. Her blouse was white, rolled up to her elbows. She sat, cross-legged, on a high bar stool, her trousers just above her nimble ankles. Inej sipped her drink; a whiskey on the rocks; as she stared at a picture frame to the right of the room. 

 

Kaz swallowed. He gripped his cane until his knuckles turned white. Then he strode forward. The bartender noticed him and smiled. “The usual, boss?” Kaz nodded silently, trying not to stare at the back of Inej’s head.

 

She knew he was there, right behind her, so close that if she were to swivel around they’d be face to face; but she stayed put. She took another sip of whiskey, and stared on at the painting on the wall. 

 

Kaz took his drink and downed half the contents, then followed her eyeline. A princess draped in silks looked back at them both, her eyes a piercing green, her skin a soft coffee. She gripped a dagger in her left hand, and in the right she held a ruby. 

 

Kaz stared at Inej’s hair. It had grown in length, no longer covered in the dust of Ketterdam. Kaz knew that if he were to touch it, it would feel like freshly spun silk. He took in a breath.

 

“It’s Suli. The painting. Though, I doubt I needed to tell you that.” Inej’s mouth curled into a faint smile. Kaz was too busy trying not to fumble his words to see that she’d moved round to face forward.

 

“She’s beautiful.” 

 

_ Yes, she is _ . Kaz took another sip of his drink. The silence was long, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. The feel of Inej in a room had been deprived from him for four years, but all of a sudden he found himself craving it more than ever; despite being shoulder to shoulder with her. 

 

“I was thinking of putting that one in the gallery,” Kaz began, leaning back onto a bar stool, cane draped between his legs. “But why put something so beautiful in a gallery when I could have it all to myself?” 

 

Finally, she turned. Face to face. Almost nose to nose. Inej Ghafa was sat directly in front of Kaz, four years on. Her face hadn’t changed, besides the healed scars of the fights she’d no doubt had with slavers. Her eyes were the same dark brown, almost black, but they had something new within them; understanding; experience; glints of a new life that Kaz had never seen in them before. 

 

“Some things will never change,” she let out a soft scoff, her eyes trailing to Kaz’s bare hands. He kept his gaze on her face and watched her eyes as they traversed the space between his knuckles, his fingernails. “And  _ some _ things do.” Her eyes met his again, and they were frozen.

 

Kaz was seventeen again, in the lobby of the Menagerie. Inej was looking at him with those same doe eyes, her indenture in his gloved hands. She was on the brink of tears; but they weren’t happy—

 

They were fearful. Headed for the unknown. 

 

Looking at her eyes now, they weren’t afraid. Kaz knew better than anyone how strong Inej was. And in that moment there’s nothing he wanted to do more than show her how strong he was.

 

Kaz bridged the gap between them, stroking his fingers over her own in the most subtle of ways, all the while their eyes still locked. Inej waited a beat, then placed her hand over his. Her fingers were wary; out of practice; and when they collided with his skin the breath hitched in the back of his throat. 

 

Inej stopped moving her fingers abruptly, ready to pull back—

 

“Don’t,” Kaz spoke, his voice deep and coarse. “Please, don’t.” Inej kept her hand still, a small smile curling onto her lips. Being like this again; so close, but only with the slightest of touches; flooded memories back into Kaz’s mind that he’d tried not to dwell on. The bathroom, him between her strong legs, dirty bandages littering the floor and the feel of the tiles against his back when he pulled back. This time, he wouldn’t falter. The cravings within Kaz had risen over their time apart; the want; the need; to be closer to someone.

 

To touch without pain.

 

Slowly, Kaz trailed his other hand over hers. Inej moved their hands together, resting Kaz’s knuckles on her knees, her fingers spiralling over his palms. She smiled at him, her eyes gleaming.

 

“You’re not Dirtyhands anymore, Kaz Brekker.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for some Jesper?


	3. Chapter 3

**Jesper**

 

Jesper stretched his long arms as he jumped off the boat from Novyi Zem. He’d got used to doing the trip over the last four years, but he still got that same school-boy excitement deep in his gut every time his feet hit those cobblestones again. It meant he was close to him; to Wylan Van Eck. 

 

In some ways, being away from each other had brought them even closer. Jesper wrote to Wylan whenever he could. Wylan responded every time without fail, thanks to his personal writer. Jesper saved each letter, reading them through when he really missed Ketterdam; Kaz; Wylan; everyone. Novyi Zem was his birthplace, and it was beautiful. His father’s _jurda_ farm was back up and running smoothly. The look on Colm’s face when Jesper had arrived home had been the best thing the sharpshooter had ever laid his eyes on; his welled eyes; his freckled skin and balding head. He loved his father, and he always would. 

 

Jesper had craved to smell the mud on the ground at Ketterdam. He’d missed seeing the pantomime masks everywhere he walked, and the aftermath of bar brawls as the fighters were thrown out, landing on their chins. All the bad things about Ketterdam had become good once more; Jesper embraced the change happily. 

 

His feet trotted, turning the corner onto Fifth Harbour. It was the most direct route to the main canal that would get him to the Van Eck estate; where Wylan was waiting for him. 

 

Soft skin--

 

Strawberry curls--

 

Eyes so big that Jesper would find something new every time his own met Wylan’s. 

 

They’d never made it official, but it was obvious what they were. Despite the long distance, they’d remained as close as their bodies had willed, spending every moment together, whenever Jesper came back to Kerch, and even planning for Wylan to come to Novyi Zem in the near future. 

 

It was hard for Jesper not to get a pang of nostalgia every time he strolled through Fifth Harbour. The remnants of his old life lay here within the docks, the mud caked on the cobblestones, the debris left by disembarking ship passengers. He’d  _ found _ himself here; under all that dirt and the permanent gunpowder residue on his hands. This was where the legend of Jesper Fahey had truly begun. 

 

That’s where the Ice Court heist had begun, too.

 

Dock Twenty-Two. Where Kaz had stampeded the ship, cradling a dying Inej in his arms; where Wylan had had his back completely—

 

Where The Wraith, Inej’s vessel, was  _ moored _ . 

 

Jesper’s heart pounded. He hadn’t seen that boat since he’d been stood with Kaz right here, four years prior, waving goodbye to Inej and her parents. His fingers twitched, as if he was ready to pull the trigger of a pistol, but he realised it wasn’t from anxiety; it was from excitement.

 

Inej was in Ketterdam again, and so was  _ he _ .

 

This wasn’t something Jesper could miss. His eyes stayed plastered on The Wraith, as if he was afraid it would leave any second, as the cogs in his mind began to turn—

 

Then he was running, straight to the nearest runner he could find, his feet pounding the cobblestones like he was running from one of Jan Van Eck’s men again. As he ran, he took out a small parchment bundle from his bag and began scratching down a message.

 

“You,” Jesper slowed as he approached a runner; a young boy, about age twelve. He breathed heavily as he folded up the note. “Take this to the Van Eck estate; to Wylan Van Eck.  _ Now _ .” He handed the boy some kruge, and he was off, running through the bustling Ketterdam streets.

 

Jesper, however, changed his direction. The Barrel was calling him, and he was ready to embrace it once more, as an even better man. From where he was, the Crow Club was closer than the Slat; he’d start there; he’d get Kaz if he didn’t know Inej was back in town—

 

He knew Kaz wouldn’t want to miss seeing her again. 

 

Though they’d tried, it was no secret that there was something brewing between Inej and Kaz four years ago. Jesper witnessed it all; their small glances; their subtle smiles. Kaz wasn’t one for sentiments, but for Inej, Jesper was sure he’d do anything for her; and she for him. 

 

Jesper was reminded of Kaz’s behaviour after Inej had been kidnapped by Jan Van Eck. He’d tried to hide his distress, and he’d done it well for the most part-- until they’d got her back. That’s when Jesper saw the cracks creeping up on Kaz; cracks of relief; of ‘Thank the Saints’--

 

_ I would have come for you, and if I couldn't walk, I'd crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we'd fight our way out together— knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that's what we do. We never stop fighting.  _

 

Kaz Brekker; under all that hate, that dirt, caked into his very skin so deep down it was almost impossible to penetrate; had a heart. 

 

Jesper reached The Crow Club, the place he’d called home for years of his life, back when things were different. Keeg stood at the door, his arms crossed over his large chest. When his eyes glanced over the sharpshooter he shot out a toothy grin. “Fahey-- you’re back!” Jesper took a few seconds to shake his fellow Dregs’ hand.

 

“Is Kaz about?” 

 

“Got here a bit ago, might be dealing.” Keeg shrugged his shoulders as if to say ‘Who knows?’. Jesper nodded once then bound inside, taking in the familiar atmosphere of the casino that Kaz had built from nothing. It still amazed him; Brekker erected this place single-handedly, turning it into one of the best spots in Ketterdam. 

 

A street rat turned Barrel King. 

 

Jesper’s eyes hit the back of Kaz’s head, sat at the bar, but this wasn’t the time for welcomes. “Kaz--,” He bolted forward, grabbing Kaz’s shoulder immediately. Brekker turned, making no sign that he was startled, his eyes jutting up at down over Jesper’s face. 

 

“Jes--,”

 

“No time. Inej’s ship is docked in the harbour, we gotta find her. Have you seen her? Is she here--,”

 

“Jesper.” Her voice hit his ears and he turned his head so fast he could have sworn his neck would crack. Inej Ghafa sat in front of him; hair down; face glowing. She’d grown, he could see it. Jesper’s breath hitched in his throat. He hadn’t recognised her, he hadn’t even registered that Kaz had been sat with her, talking, reminiscing. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you speechless, Fahey.” She smiled at him, showing her teeth. 

 

Warmth spread over Jesper’s body, and suddenly she was in his arms. Inej; The Wraith; but first and foremost; his friend. “Look at you. You’re--,”

 

“Older? Wiser? More beautiful?” She joked, and made a show of puffing out her chest, making her blouse open ever so slightly more around her collar. Jesper’s eyes hit the space just above her heart, where a jet black tattoo poked through from beneath her shirt. 

 

Kaz got up suddenly, bringing around another stool for Jesper to sit on. He raised his bare hand at the bartender and in seconds a drink was in his hand. Jesper hadn’t moved his eyes from Inej, though--

 

The tattoo, he could have  _ sworn _ it looked like--

 

“If it isn’t The Wraith,” another voice cut through the air of The Crow Club, and in strolled Wylan. His curls lay gently over his forehead, a three piece suit sat snug on his lanky frame. Inej got up from her stool and pranced over to the merchling, encasing him in a hug that had been waiting four years.

 

Jesper shot up from his seat, his eyes tracing over Wylan’s face like he’d never seen him before. It had been three months since the last time they’d been together, and Jesper would be lying to say that his body hadn’t craved the touch of the Van Eck boy’s skin over his. Inej pulled apart from him, allowing Jesper to step in front. 

 

“Hey,” He said, his voice soft. Wylan’s lips curled into an illegal smile, his hand coming up to cup Jesper’s cheek, his fingers circling over his Zemeni skin. 

 

“Hey,” The merchling replied. Jesper placed his hand over Wylan’s, his other resting behind his neck. In no time, they were together; lips on lips; breath over breath. Wylan Van Eck was Jesper Fahey’s, there was no doubt about it. The way Jesper craved Wylan’s touch was different to anything he’d ever felt before. It was stronger than the buzz that he got from the tables, stronger than the vibrations his body felt after every gunshot. 

 

Wylan tugged them apart, his lips glistening. He met eyes with Kaz, and nodded. Kaz nodded back with a tiny smile. “So, we’re all together again.” Wylan spoke, his voice no longer that of the young runaway he used to be. 

 

“Not all,” Inej interjected, her fingers tapping the side of her glass. Kaz sat opposite her, his eyes plastered on the space just above her heart, until he snapped out of it. He took in a breath, flicking his eyes over Inej’s saddened face. 

 

“Nina Zenik will always be here. I can hear her chewing biscuits as we speak.” Kaz spoke, his voice rough, but gentle. 

 

Jesper looked at each of the crows in turn, and sent up a silent prayer for Matthias. 

 

“She’s probably got her hip jutting out, right this second, bossing people around.” Wylan added, and everyone looked at the floor in nostalgia. Jesper took his seat once more, Wylan resting on his knee. Kaz handed the merchling a drink. 

 

Four out of six were together again, despite the massive changes that had occured over the past four years. Jesper was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that Inej had docked in Ketterdam on the same weekend he’d planned on returning. It felt like fate; like a sign of some sort. 

 

A sign that they’d all be okay. 

 

“It’s not all of us,” Jesper began, his mind pondering. “But it’s enough for a celebration.” 

 

Kaz took in a breath and raised his glass, his pale fingers taking centre stage.

 

“No mourners,” Kaz let out. It sounded like a song. 

 

Jesper raised his glass. So did Wylan, and finally Inej, her eyes taking in more of Brekker. 

 

“No funerals.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Wylan's turn now.


	4. Chapter 4

**Wylan**

 

Wylan stared at the clock on the wall of his office. Jesper should have been here by now. He was arriving in Ketterdam this evening, travelling from the farm in Novyi Zem. It’d been three whole months; one of the longest times that he and Jesper had been apart in the past four years. He missed his mischievous eyes, his glowing Zemeni skin, his quick retorts and flirts that still made Wylan blush occasionally, though he’d got better at sending Jesper back a smirk. 

 

One of Wylan’s house servants popped his head round the doorframe. “Master Wylan, the--,”

 

“He’s here.” Wylan shot out of his chair, bounding right past his servant, headed straight for the front entrance to the mansion. He straightened out his suit on the way, pulling down his waistcoat and ruffling the wrinkles near his shirt cuffs. “Jesper--,” He said, but his face dropped. 

 

A young boy stood in the lobby, his eyes tracing the intricate details on the walls. His eyes caught Wylan’s, and the boy stumbled forward, thrusting the letter into the merchling’s hands. As the boy turned to leave, Wylan grabbed his arm gently. “Wait,” he said, as the Van Eck boy retrieved some jingling kruge from his blazer pocket. 

 

“But, I already--,” Wylan dropped the kruge in the boy’s hand, giving him a smile. He bowed, and promptly left through the front door. The doorman shut the large oak door and nodded at his boss; Wylan nodded back, his hands still clutching the note.

 

“Wylan?” Marya approached him slowly, her eyes still slightly foggy after all that time, trapped. But she was back; here; in his arms; his own mother. “Is Jesper here?” He sent her a caring smile, placing a hand on her arm.

 

“Not yet, Ma,” He placed a small peck on her cheek. “But he will be soon.”

 

And then he was running.

 

It had taken some time to read Jesper’s note, but Wylan always had less trouble with things written by Jesper. He knew how he spoke, he knew how his voice sounded. And in the note, Jesper Fahey had sounded frantic; chaotic; excited. 

 

Wylan jumped in the nearest canal boat, paying the driver in kruge upfront and demanding him to row as fast as he could. He couldn’t believe she was back in Ketterdam; finally. Inej had always comforted Wylan in the most subtle of ways, a small wink, a tiny smile. She’d had his back from the very beginning, when everyone was still questioning why the hell Kaz had decided to bring him along on the Ice Court heist, even if he was just collateral damage. 

 

The boat rounded the corner and Wylan jumped out without warning, bounding over the Ketterdam cobblestones towards The Crow Club. He nodded at Keeg as he passed the front door, trying to compose himself slightly in the lobby before heading through into the main casino. 

 

He waltzed in, hands in pockets, curls all over the place, and smirked at what he saw in front of him. Kaz, Inej and Jesper sat serenely, drinks in their hands, smiles on their faces. Wylan’s heart jumped in his chest; he hadn’t witnessed a scene like this in so long that he’d almost forgotten what one actually looked like. His eyes cascaded over to Inej--

 

“If it isn’t The Wraith.”

 

…

 

Wylan sat on Jesper’s knee comfortably, his hand firmly gripping the drink Kaz had got for him. Inej and Kaz were conversing quietly, almost as if they were plotting, but without the usual danger. The way they spoke made Wylan shiver. 

 

After the Ice Court, it had become apparent to Wylan and the others that there was something going on between Kaz and Inej. 

 

Dirtyhands and his Wraith--

 

The perfect team--

 

Even when perfection was something that no one had ever seen in Ketterdam.

 

It made Wylan smile, seeing them like this again. Seeing Kaz be so open within himself, despite being the same old Brekker over the past four years. Inej made something lurch out of him this time, thrusting him forward into a world that was so unlike the one he lived in everyday; but so needed for the Barrel King. 

 

Wylan could see Kaz needed it; a small touch of his finger; a subtle slip of a palm over his knuckles; Brekker craved to feel; and the only person he’d let close to him, properly, was sat right in front of him again, after all this time. 

 

“Hey,” Jesper whispered, right into Wylan’s ear. The sharpshooter tightened his grip around the mercling’s waist, shooting him a smile that could have easily killed him. Wylan smiled back, trailing his fingers to land on the back of Jesper’s neck. He breathed him in; he smelled like the ocean, mixed with sweet  _ jurda _ from the farm. 

 

Wylan craved to taste the whiskey on Jesper’s lips. 

 

Kaz and Inej didn’t notice them, both totally encased in their conversation; in each other. 

 

Jesper finished his drink, all the while still staring at Wylan’s strawberry curls. He came in closer. “Shall we leave them to it?” Jesper’s eyes sparkled, and before Wylan could think he was already nodding. He detached himself from Jesper and stood up, his lanky limbs clicking slightly. 

 

Inej turned then, her face changing. Was it fear?  _ No. _ But it resembled that, alongside the anxious glints in her black eyes. 

 

“Well, we’ll be off then. Things to do, people to see, and all that.” Jesper spoke up, rising from the stool. Kaz and Inej followed suit, exchanging small smiles with both boys. Kaz raised his hand to Jesper, and for a moment the sharpshooter hesitated. 

 

Was this the first time Jesper had ever touched Kaz’s skin like this? Hand on hand, instead of fist on face. 

 

Jesper glanced at Kaz’s bare hand, and Wylan could see his brain whirring beneath his skull. Then he reached out and took Brekker’s in his own, wrapping his fingers haphazardly around Kaz’s knuckles. 

 

Dirtyhands didn’t even flinch. 

 

Wylan smiled. Inej being back had flicked a switch inside the Barrel King. While Wylan had seen Kaz change over the past four years, this was the biggest step he’d ever taken. He was on the precipice, about to go over, but Wylan knew he wouldn’t fall; 

 

He’d sprout wings and fly. 

 

“Come to the Slat tomorrow. I found some of your old things when we emptied out the attic.” Kaz slipped his hand out of Jesper’s and let it trail by his side. Jesper’s lingered in the air, as if he were savouring his friend’s touch. 

 

Wylan and Jesper left the Crow Club, hand in hand. They left content and warm, knowing that Inej was safe; knowing that Kaz had wanted to be alone with her, even if he hadn’t said it outloud. Now, though, it was Wylan and Jesper’s time. Being around Jesper again ignited a part of Wylan that he loved. He didn’t feel small, or self-conscious. 

 

He knew the sharpshooter loved him--

 

And he loved him back. 

 

“What d’you reckon, then?” Jesper spoke softly, and Wylan realised he’d been completely lost in his own thoughts. They strolled through the dark streets of the Financial District, headed for the Van Eck Mansion. 

 

“What?” Jesper smirked at the innocent look on Wylan’s face.

 

“Come on, merchling. Inej and Kaz.” Wylan pouted. He didn’t know what would happen. He didn’t know if, despite the change, Kaz was physically able to reveal more of himself to her; to  _ anyone.  _

 

Wylan knew one thing, though; if Kaz wanted something, he’d  _ always _ find a way of getting it. If Brekker truly wanted something more with Inej than the subtle tangling of their fingers, then he’d be able to do it. 

 

_ He just has to let go.  _

 

Wylan stood up straighter, sending playful eyes at Jesper. “I think it’s none of our business.” Now Jesper was the one to pout. 

 

“You’re no fun.” Jesper said, sulkily. That face; his pouting lip; his frustrated eyes; it made Wylan’s stomach lurch so much that he practically bombarded himself into Jesper. He yanked Jesper’s hand back, forcing him to find balance on Wylan’s body. 

 

“I am fun. In  _ different _ ways.” Wylan smirked at the sharpshooter, and Jesper physically gulped, his eyes traversing Wylan’s face like a rabbit caught in headlights. 

 

“Y-you--,” Jesper stuttered.

 

“Yes?” Wylan asked, knowing fully well what he was doing. Jesper managed to gain back his usual confidence in that moment, as his hand grabbed the back of Wylan’s neck sturdily, his arm snaking its way around his slender waist. 

 

Wylan would give anything to have this as his always. 

 

He’d give anything to live in the same country as Jesper, instead of stealing moments like this every few months. It was rough. It was lonely. 

 

But he endured. He endured it all just for the look on Jesper’s face. 

 

The sharpshooter let out a pent up breath;

 

“Kiss me, you idiot.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's get angsty.


	5. Chapter 5

**Kaz**

 

Kaz tried to slow down his heartbeat, but it was practically fruitless. They were alone again, but it felt different. The Crow Club was quiet, dealers dealt their cards in silence, players loosened their collars and wiped their brows discreetly. 

 

Seeing Jesper and Wylan together was always something Kaz relished in; not that he’d ever fucking tell them that, though, the cocky bastards. They were so open with each other, not afraid to broadcast the fact that they were very much in love. It’s not something Kaz often dwelled on, but today was new.

 

Today, he wanted what they had.

 

Kaz and Inej hadn’t touched since Jesper and Wylan had arrived. Though he’d shook the sharpshooter’s hand for the first time, ever, since they’d first met five years before. Jesper’s skin had been calloused on his palms, but soft on his knuckles. Kaz didn’t know what his own hand had been like to Jesper, slotted together. 

 

“Kaz,” Inej said, almost whispering. Kaz’s neck hairs stood on edge as he shot his head up to meet her gaze. She looked so calm, like she’d known this would happen eventually, like she’d planned to come back at this exact moment to see her Dirtyhands once more. “Do you want another?” Inej pointed at his empty glass.

 

Kaz waited a beat before rising up from his chair. “This isn’t a night for drowning in whiskey.” He extended his hand out to Inej boldly, and her eyes sparkled. 

 

As she took his hand in her own, Kaz had never felt more alive. The thrill of another chase, the vibration of bullets ricocheting off the cobblestones, the sleek steel of a knife in his hand; nothing compared to having Inej’s hand in his. 

 

They left the Crow Club and took to the Ketterdam cobblestones together. Inej and Kaz had wandered these streets together more times than either of them could count; but never like this—

 

Hand in hand. Faces out in the open. The Barrel was their playground back then, despite those that wanted to cut them down. Now; it was all Kaz’s. And Kaz wanted Inej to know that it was all hers, as well.

 

They rounded the street corner and Kaz stopped, pulling Inej forward gently. The Ketterdam Art Gallery stood in all its glory in front of them. Kaz tried to get the smug look off his face as Inej’s eyes traversed the building once more. 

 

He could tell she was intrigued. 

 

Perhaps even joyful.

 

“Your latest investment.” Inej spoke up, and Kaz smiled, gripping her hand tighter.

 

They strode forward powerfully and skipped the queue of customers outside. Kaz lead Inej through the main rooms quickly, so much so that Inej was complaining he was going too fast.

 

 _“Slow down,_ Brekker. I want to see—,”

 

“This is commonplace art. I’m taking you to my favourite room in the entire gallery.” Inej shut her mouth at that, and maybe it was Kaz’s imagination, but her cheeks blushed ever so slightly.

 

Kaz lead Inej down corridor after corridor to a cordoned off part of the gallery. The walls were bare here, unlike the other brightly lit rooms and walkways. The rooms began to get darker and darker.

 

“You’re not kidnapping me, are you? We’ve already established I’m very good at escaping,” Inej grinned and Kaz curled his lips into a small smile.

 

“I doubt you’ll want to escape this room.” 

 

Inej stayed silent, her eyes glinting with mass curiosity. Kaz tried not to look smug at her confused, yet excited, face as he continued leading her through the back rooms of the gallery. Kaz let Inej’s hand go as he grabbed a ring of rattling keys from his inside pocket and slotted one into a scuffed oak door. 

 

Kaz wondered if she’d noticed what part of the building they were in yet, but if Inej knew she showed no noticeable signs. 

 

The door creaked open, revealing a room with mostly blank walls. Inside, a chez lounge sat in the centre of the room serenely. The windows at the back of the room let light flood into the open space, and Inej’s breath hitched in her throat. 

 

_Now she knew._

 

Inej entered the room, her feet hesitant on the floorboards beneath her. 

 

“This is--,” She began, and Kaz smiled at the back of her head as her gaze met the only painting that was hung in the room--

 

On the left, a small painting hung directly in the middle of the wall. It was framed by gold painted wood which caught the light, casting a golden glow over the floor. Inej approached the painting, her eyes not daring to blink. Kaz didn’t dare to blink either; he couldn’t miss seeing her face like this. 

 

Inej’s eyes traversed the piece in front of her, her pupils dancing across the canvas. The painting; a girl atop a wire, her feet skillfully traversing the rope with such ease, her arms outstretched to give her effortless balance. 

 

“This was my old chambers at the Menagerie.” Inej finally spoke, her back still turned on Kaz. 

 

“Yes,” He replied, his voice low and coarse. He could have sworn he just saw her shiver. Kaz approached Inej, coming closer to her. In that moment, his eyes trailed to her bare neck; his stomach dropped. “When I bought the building, I thought of razing it to the ground. Its walls were thick with rose scented disgust, residue of the past.” Kaz was so close to Inej that he could hear her breathing. He prayed she couldn’t hear his. “But I thought that would be too cliche. So, I transformed it into this.” He waited a beat, his eyes gliding across the wire walker on the canvas. “For you.” 

 

Inej stayed still. 

 

“How did you know I’d come back?” She practically whispered it. 

 

“I didn’t.” 

 

Kaz was sure she would turn to him then, her face ablaze with something he’d never seen before, but dreamed of. But Inej stayed where she was, glued to her spot, her shoulders unmoving. 

 

He knew what she was doing. 

 

_I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all._

 

She was waiting for him to make the first move. 

 

Slowly, excruciatingly slowly, Kaz edged himself even closer to his Wraith. His eyes traversed her bare neck, her collar-bones, her foundations, and amongst that space was the part of her he wanted--

 

A part of her he’d almost had four years ago. 

 

She didn’t even flinch when his lips caught her skin, just below her knife-sharp jaw. She didn’t pull away when his arms draped themselves around her waist, pulling her into his body. Inej leaned her head to the side, falling into Kaz’s touch like they were meant to; like they _craved_ to. 

 

And, finally, she turned. 

 

Face to face. Nose to nose. 

 

Dirtyhands and his Wraith. 

 

“That night, in the bathroom.” Inej began. “The way you fell back--,”

 

Kaz silenced her by gently placing a bare finger over her lips. Inej’s eyes widened. 

 

“That night taught me something. It showed me what I truly wanted. It showed me I had to _let go._ ”

 

They stayed, frozen, stuck in time, despite being so much older, so much more grown. Kaz and Inej had still stood the test of time, and they’d come back stronger for it. The thrill of another chase, the vibration of bullets ricocheting off the cobblestones, the sleek steel of a knife in both of their hands; none of it compared to the feeling that both of the criminals had in the pit of their stomachs, then. 

 

Kaz took her in, her Suli skin, her silk-black hair, her deep brown eyes--

 

The tattoo on her chest, just above her heart. 

 

He could see it fully now, as the golden glow of the wire walker painting travelled over her skin, that familiar symbol, one that he’d seen everyday for the past five years and even longer, one that he’d raised through the ranks with his own gloved-covered hands--

 

The crow and its cup--

 

The mark of the Dregs--

 

Etched right into Inej’s skin; her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took me far too long. I had massive writers block with this and I have no idea why. Maybe it's just because I love them too much.


	6. Chapter 6

********

**Inej**

Inej stared at the window in front of her; that same one where she’d imagined Kaz saving her again, and again, and  _ again _ . Her rescuer, come to take her away from this miserable existence. 

Her eyes trailed around the room; the walls were stripped of the sickening dark pink they used to be, replaced with a calming light grey hue. The only piece of furniture was a worn but fashionable chez lounge that sat directly in the middle of the space. Kaz had taken out the overbearing and claustrophobic fake silks; he’d made the room practically unrecognisable. 

Inej found herself imagining once more. Kaz’s bare knuckles wrapped on her window, his eyes peering into her very soul. She was draped in fake silks; they weighed her down worse than any Barrel gang boss could. She strode forward, her hands unclasping the lock on the window. The air burst into her chambers, and along with it came Kaz Brekker. 

He slipped through and into her chambers, his long legs hitting the floor and rising himself from the ground with such elegance that Inej couldn’t help but stare. 

He was--

Beautiful. 

A beast. 

But, a  _ boy.  _

Slowly, Kaz inched his hand towards Inej, gripping the silk around her head and giving it a mighty tug. The silk sunk to the ground, gliding off her head and smoothing down her hair. Inej stood; exposed; in front of her saviour. 

Her eyes wouldn’t leave his, and his couldn’t stop taking in her form. 

This was how it was  _ supposed _ to be-- 

This is what Inej wanted;  _ craved. _

The only problem was, she didn’t know if Kaz wanted it as much as her. 

Inej came back to herself, then, when her eyes hit the painting to the left of the room. She tried not to give away how fast her heart was beating to the Barrel king behind her, too afraid and excited about what Kaz’s reaction would be to her raised pulse. 

The girl traversed the wire in front of her, her chin high and her arms outstretched like a swan’s wings. She was shrouded with golden light, walking across the wire with such ease that Inej could actually see her reach the other end, the hint of a victory smile on her lips. 

This was Kaz’s favourite room in the whole gallery--

Her old room; her old space; littered with so many memories for both of them. 

Bad memories; but ones that Inej wouldn’t dare touch in her mind, just in case they disappeared forever. And she never wanted to forget the moment that Kaz Brekker first appeared in her life, no matter how gruesome her life was back then. 

…

Inej stared at Kaz as his eyes took in her tattoo. It was there; shock; true, utter shock. It was a look that Inej had never seen on Kaz’s face, one that she never thought she’d ever get to see. 

Dirtyhands was amazed,  _ speechless _ , even. 

“A few months into my voyage, I got it. A young Grisha did it for me, after I saved him from the  _ druskelle _ outside Elling.” 

Inej swore his hands were trembling as they came up to her skin, pressing his fingers against the etching. The crow and its cup. A mark that Kaz had never pressured Inej into getting, but one that she truly felt she wanted;

It was her home. The Dregs were her family. 

Kaz’s eyes met hers. “Why?” It came out as a coarse whisper. 

Inej took his trailing hand in her own, forcing it to still. 

“Because I wanted to.” Inej looked up at his dark eyes, her neck still tingling from where his lips had kissed her. “These cobblestones are part of me. The dust from the Slat is forever in my lungs. The muddy scent of the Crow Club is stuck in my nose,” she spoke, letting the words roll off her tongue. “You’re a part of me, Kaz. And you always will be.”

Inej saw his gaze drop to the floor, his thumbs still circling her palms slowly. Silence surrounded them both, only stopping when the distant call of a seagull invaded the air, or the foghorn of a vessel cut through the atmosphere. The girl stayed on her wire.

Inej wished he’d look up at her.

She wished he’d bridge this gap between them, once and for all, like she knew he  _ wanted _ to.

But something she’d only realised in the past four years, being away—

Kaz Brekker was an over thinker; a brilliant plotter; one hell of a shooter; and even better con-man; 

But, an over thinker. When things infiltrated his brain, he’d never let them go. He’d prod them until the ends of this earth. He’d pierce them until he’d drained everything about them—

Inej knew in her heart that Kaz had been trying not to overthink her, but had failed.

“Kaz—,”

“You’re leaving again, aren’t you?”

Inej swallowed uncomfortably. He’d worked her out. She sighed, unlinking her hands from his and approaching the chez lounge, placing a hand on its velvet.

“You didn’t really think I’d stay, did you?” She whispered. 

Kaz waited a beat. “No.” He said strongly, his coarse voice making Inej shiver. “But I…,” Inej closed her eyes, letting out a shaky breath. “... had hope.” 

Inej chuckled into the air, her eyes welling. She turned to him.“Kaz Brekker. You  _ never _ hope.”

“For you, I do.” Inej held her breath as Kaz approached her, his limp hardly revealing itself as his limbs strolled towards her, his crow-headed cane gripped tightly in his bare hand. 

With every bang on the cane on the floor, Inej’s heart boomed. With every step closer that Kaz took, Inej’s body melted. 

Until he was there, face to face once more, his lips only a breath away from touching hers. His eyes trailed her face like she was pure gold. His fingers traced her cheek like she was made of pure velvet. 

“For you, Inej Ghafa, I’d set this entire world on fire.” 

Inej’s eyes widened, overflowing—

Kaz bridges the gap between them, once and for all.

****  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting to the end of this baby, and I'm honestly so proud. These characters mean so much to me, and I really hope I've done them justice in writing this. I think the next chapter of this will be my last, and I'll be different, but I still hope you guys like it. Thank you so much for reading this regardless, it's one of my favourite things I've ever written.
> 
> If you guys want to see more updates/more about me then follow my twitter @sparklybuck ! 
> 
> Thank you all x


	7. Chapter 7

**Everyone**

 

Morning came round faster than anyone would have guessed. The hours flew by, just like the crows that never seemed to leave Kaz be. His skin felt odd, laying bare against his old bed sheets in the attic of the Slat. Inej and him had moved the sheets to the floor, opting not to squish together on the single bed and just make do on the hardwood. 

 

After the gallery, they’d made their way back to the Slat, exhausted purely from the human contact both of them had been having all evening. Inej had fallen asleep almost immediately, letting her guard down fully in front of Kaz as he laid next to her, watching her silent breathing. 

 

The sun cast a golden glow over her in the morning, reflecting off her hair, her skin, her very being. It was a sight that Kaz had seen before, outside on his windowsill, as Inej sat serenely feeding the crows all those years before. It was a sight he’d never allowed himself to ponder from the pain that came with it; a pain that told him he might never get to see her again. 

 

That was before, though. 

 

Now he knew he’d ponder that look every day for the rest of his life, knowing that Inej may never come back to Katterdam again this time. 

 

She was leaving today, sailing out on the Wraith once more to take down those that deserved it. Four years ago, Kaz hadn’t allowed himself to ask her to stay. He hadn’t managed to get the words out, even in private. 

 

_Stay, Inej. Stay with me._

 

His mouth would always snap shut, or he’d end up saying something utterly different to what he actually wanted. 

 

But laying here, seeing Inej in this pure way, his eyes traversing her face like it was the first time he’d ever seen her in the Menagerie; he knew he’d be able to say it this time. If he didn’t, he was prepared to fling himself onto Reaper’s Barge and burn with the other bodies. 

 

Inej stirred serenely, stretching her arms upwards like a golden retriever after a nap. Her eyes blinked open, squinting at the sun that lay over her face. Her eyes immediately hit Kaz’s, and her face softened. 

 

“Good morning,” She uttered, her voice barely a whisper. Kaz was so close he could hear her perfectly. This felt right; it felt good. Somewhere inside Inej, she wondered if it would be awkward, sleeping together on Kaz’s floor--

 

But she was wrong. 

 

This was perfect. This was ingrained within them from the moment their feelings had started to change. All they’d needed was time. All they’d needed was to heal, by themselves. 

 

Inej knew she couldn’t have molded Kaz into the man he was today, no matter how hard she’d tried. She knew he needed time alone with his own thoughts, his own memories, his own _will;_ to be himself; to move on from his old life. She’d needed time away to realise who her true family was. She’d needed to traverse more than just a wire for once in her life, and had opted for the furthest of oceans to truly find out what she’d known all along, deep down--

 

Kaz was hers. 

 

Inej was his. 

 

The Dregs were her family--

 

And, by god, she wanted to feed those stupid crows again. 

 

As if on cue, the crows began cawing outside on Kaz’s tiny attic balcony. “Give it a rest, you squawking idiots.” He raised his voice slightly, but there was the hint of a smile on his lips. Inej knew for a fact that Kaz didn’t despise the crows. In fact, she knew Kaz anticipated their visit to his window every morning, all because of what he’d told her some years ago. 

 

_Crows remember human faces. They remember the people who feed them, who’re kind to them. They don’t forget._

 

The crows had been visiting Kaz since before Inej had joined the Dregs. That meant Kaz had been feeding them all this time. They were still coming to this exact window, which meant Kaz certainly had a soft spot for them, even if he wouldn’t admit it. Inej knew he wouldn’t.

 

Inej shot Kaz a look, and he noticeably furrowed his brows. “That’s a scheming face, Inej.” She grinned at him unapologetically. 

 

“Tell me where your secret stash of bird feed is.” Kaz rolled his eyes. 

 

“You lied in your letter, Wraith. You promised you wouldn’t feed them this time.” Inej raised her eyebrows at him, sending him a smug look. 

 

“I learned to lie from the best con-man in Ketterdam. You can’t blame me.” Kaz kept his gaze on Inej for a beat, breathing calmly. 

 

“Right-hand drawer of the desk.” Before Kaz had finished speaking, Inej was already up off the floor, giddily running to his old desk and picking up a handful of bird seed from the drawer. She turned to the sill and swung open Kaz’s large window, stepping out onto the balcony with ease, despite how short she was. 

 

The crows began squawking loudly, ruffling their feathers and hovering with excitement. Inej perched herself on the slanted tiled roof of the Slat, bringing her knees up to her chest. Her hair hung over her left shoulder, falling down her form in elegant waves that ate up the golden glow of the sun. Her blouse was wrinkled and another button had popped open as she slept; her tattoo was in full view. 

 

Kaz raised himself from the floor, his limbs creaking like an old oak door. He grabbed his cane that leaned against the desk, making his way to sit in his old desk chair once more, swiveling round to face Inej as she starting dropping bird seed to the ground. 

 

They’d come full circle. 

 

Inej’s smile was one that Kaz never wanted to forget. It was subtle, but her eyes were gleaming everytime she dropped another fill of seed for the crows. His heart panged painfully in his chest; this couldn’t be it, surely? 

 

This couldn’t be the last time he’d ever see her. This couldn’t be the last memory he’d have of her. They still had so much to live through with each other, so much to learn about the others touch. Kaz’s throat felt like it was about to close, but his face showed nothing of his inner turmoil. 

 

“Inej,” He blurted out, surprising not just Inej, but also himself. She turned to him, her eyes trying desperately to claw through his defences. Kaz sat up straight, banging his cane on the floor once. “Stay,” He let out, and as he did, he felt the tension in his shoulders disappear. He met her eyes. “Stay here, with me. Don’t go.” 

 

Inej dropped the rest of the bird seed to the floor, jumping off the roof and landing silently, approaching Kaz slowly. 

 

“Say that again,” She spoke, her tone one of seriousness. Inej knew Kaz. He never spoke out of turn. He didn’t speak without thinking about his words beforehand, even if those words were meant to burn. 

 

Kaz stretched his arms outwards, gently grabbing at Inej’s waist. She allowed herself to be pulled forward, enough for Kaz to press his head into her torso. This was new; for both of them. Inej tried not to shake at Kaz’s touch, tried not to dwell upon the fact that this was the most vulnerable she’d ever seen Dirtyhands be; and that he was _choosing_ to be vulnerable in this moment. 

 

 _“Stay,_ Inej. Stay with me.” His voice was muffled, but Inej heard every word as clear as day. Inej placed her hand on the top of his head, combing her fingers through his hair haphazardly. 

 

Kaz stayed put, too afraid that if he were to look up, he wouldn’t be able to control what he did. Vulnerability had hit him like a truck; but it was all self-inflicted. He took in a shaky breath. “I let go of you once,” He began, and for the first time he didn’t think twice about the words that were tumbling from his mouth. Kaz raised his head slowly, looking right at Inej. 

 

“I don’t want to do it again.” 

 

Inej’s heart was in her throat. Was it just her, or had Kaz Brekker just wholeheartedly admitted his feelings, _willingly?_ She felt quite faint, in fact, as Kaz gripped tighter onto her waist, tugging her even closer to him, so that she was stood between his strong legs. It was like the bathroom four years ago, but remastered. It was reversed, and this time it was her turn to make the first move, the way that Kaz had so long ago. 

 

The tug of her bandages, the snip of the scissors, and the feel of Kaz’s lips brushing her neck before he fell back-- hitting the bathroom tiles with a sickening thud. Kaz had proved himself to be stronger, braver, fiercer, since then. Something that Inej already knew he was, but tenfold. 

 

It was her turn. 

 

But her head was holding her back--

 

She was leaving. She was treading back to the oceans. She was going to say goodbye to Brekker again. 

 

“Kaz--,” She let out, but as soon as she did the door crashed open, and in tumbled Jesper. His eyes fell upon Kaz and Inej, taking in their position, and his face immediately dropped. 

 

“Oh-- I’m sorry, I--,” Kaz let go of Inej’s waist, standing up from the chair, a smug look on his face. Inej could see the hurt behind his eyes, though. 

 

“Relax, Jes. You look like you just misplaced your pistols.” Kaz grabbed his cane and made his way towards his sharpshooter. “Right-- your stuff from the attic. Is Wylan here?” Jesper wondered how the hell Kaz wasn’t embarrassed. He knew Brekker more than he’d care to admit, and the Kaz he thought he knew would be trying everything to direct the mood of a situation away from him being vulnerable. 

 

“He’s.. downstairs,” Jesper came back to himself when he met eyes with Inej. She smiled at him fondly, but there was something there. There was a war raging within her. Jesper could guess what it was about. 

 

Her head and her heart--

 

Her duties as a Captain and her Kaz Brekker. 

 

Wylan was right; Kaz had opened up; he’d set his mind on this one thing and he’d seen it through. 

 

Kaz slapped Jesper on the shoulder. “Come on, it’s all downstairs.” Kaz began down the stairs, his cane hitting each step rhythmically, but Jesper didn’t move just yet. He turned back to Inej. Her back was to the door, looking out at the last of the crows on Kaz’s balcony. 

 

“Inej,” Jesper spoke softly, coming further into the room, but not knowing what the hell to even say in this situation. Inej sniffed to herself, and Jesper knew she was wiping at her face. She turned to him slowly, allowing him to see the hurt that was plastered all over her face. 

 

Jesper saw the tears as they cascaded down her face, catching onto the last of the morning sun and soaking it in as they fell to the floor. Within seconds, his arms were around her, clutching her in a way that he didn’t know would help or not. 

 

“It’s me this time,” She whimpered, pulling away from Jesper to take in a deep breath. “I have to leave, I can’t stay here knowing who’s out there performing evil.” 

 

Jesper smiled sadly. “But…”

 

“I don’t want to be without him.” There it was. The release that Jesper was hoping to see. As soon as the words left her mouth, Inej’s face softened, her shoulders relaxed. 

 

“I’m not one for making difficult decisions, you know this.” Jesper began, and Inej hung onto his every word. “Until four years ago, all I cared about was the next fight, or how I’d get my next handful of kruge to gamble away,” He looked at the floor. “But, after that idiot merchling entered my life, something changed. I wasn’t getting up in the morning just to ruin my life by the end of the night again, I was getting up because he was there and I--,” Jesper faltered for a second, his voice cracking. Inej placed her hand on his cheek reassuringly. “I want to be good, for him, because he’s always been good.” 

 

Inej couldn’t stop herself from smiling. Jesper never hid his emotions, or his bounce, but this was a new side to him that she’d never seen before. This was the side that was in love, true, real love. This was the side that made him go back to Novyi Zem to enhance his Fabrikator abilities. This was the side that wanted to be better because of Wylan Van Eck. 

 

This was what made Inej realise why she came back--

 

It was to show Kaz who she was, in the now, compared to back then. It was to show him how much she’d grown and changed, because of him. 

 

It hurt her to the end of this earth, but she knew what she’d do. 

 

It wouldn’t be guilt that infiltrated her lungs as she sailed away from those cobblestones again, it would be a new understanding. It would be happiness, it would be the fond memories of Kaz’s fingers laced through hers, his lips on her own, his eyes traversing her skin. 

 

“Thank you,” Inej spoke softly, placing a long kiss on the sharpshooters cheek. They walked, hand in hand, out of Kaz’s old office, headed for downstairs.

 

Jesper’s old things littered the table in the main living room of the Slat. His old gun belts, some bullet casings, and surprisingly a few stray kruge. “Hey!” Jesper shouted as he entered the room, immediately thrusting his fingers around the coins. Wylan smiled at him playfully, sending him his raised eyebrows. All Jesper did was send him back a cheeky grin. 

 

“When do you leave?” Wylan interrupted the comfortable silence, his eyes looking towards Inej. Inej looked at Kaz, taking in his blank expression. Brekker acted like nothing was wrong. Typical. 

 

“Soon.” She replied, her voice low. On the table also sat the barrel of Ravkan rum Inej had brought for Kaz, and her eyes sparkled with an idea. “But, let’s have one more drink first.” 

 

Kaz grabbed the barrel and uncorked it, pouring the rum into six glasses. Wylan grabbed his glass, swilling the rum around and smelling it before frowning sceptically. Jesper took his with a large grin. “This stuff is like gold. How the hell did you get this, Inej?” He sniffed the contents of his glass and shut his eyes, overwhelmed. 

 

Inej took her own glass. “I know people, Jesper.” 

 

“Is that supposed to impress me?” The sharpshooter replied playfully. 

 

“Does it?” Inej replied quizzically. 

 

“Yes. _Saints,_ yes. I’m friends with someone _who knows people.”_

 

Kaz gripped his own glass sturdily, and the two others stayed sat, alone, on the table top. Nina and Matthias. The other crows. Inej wished they were both here, being grossly inappropriate and handsy with each other. She wished Nina was here, complaining about food. She wished Matthias was here, not understanding another dark joke Kaz had uttered. 

 

“A convict with a thirst for revenge,” Jesper said, raising his glass for Matthias. Kaz’s eyes widened, before shooting him a smile. 

 

“A sharpshooter who can’t walk away from a wager,” Jesper pretended to act offended, as Kaz raised his own glass to the sky. 

 

“A runaway with a privileged past,” Wylan interjected, and Jesper laughed loudly. 

 

 _“Of course_ you’d describe yourself like that--,”

 

“You’re _ruining_ the goddamn moment, Jes--,” Inej coughed loudly, stopping the boys from arguing even more. She turned to Kaz.

 

“A spy known as the Wraith,” Kaz spoke, his voice softer this time. Inej raised her glass in silence, her eyes not leaving his. 

 

“A Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums,” Wylan spoke timidly, his eyes darting the floor, until Jesper placed a hand on the merchlings shoulder in support. 

 

“A thief with a gift for unlikely escapes,” Inej said, lastly. Kaz exhaled. Four out of six crows clinked their glasses in the air and downed their contents in silence, all wishing that their other two members were here for this moment. 

 

They’d fought together. They’d bled together. They’d lost together--

 

But they were all stronger for it, in the end. 

 

“Unlikely escapes…” Jesper spoke, slowly. “That’s too bloody true. How the saints did we manage it all?” Jesper looked up at Kaz and shot him a boyish smile. Kaz allowed Jesper to push his buttons this one time. Brekker let his best friend tease him, just this once, just because he wanted to remember his friendship with Jes like _this,_ instead of remembering his fist hitting the sharpshooters jaw. 

 

Wylan leant forward, grabbing one of the two full glasses on the table. “Nina wouldn’t want us to waste this,” He uttered, before knocking back the rum. Jesper stared at the merchling, dumb-founded. 

 

“Okay, that’s enough for you, kid.” He said with a chuckle, saddling closer to his man. 

 

Inej stared at the full glass on the table-- Matthias. Two years ago, she’d killed two _druskelle._ Two years ago, she knew Matthias would never forgive her, even from his grave. Without hesitating, she grabbed the glass and downed the rum, not looking at anyone as she placed the empty glass back on the table. 

 

“No mourners,” She said loudly, but it was directed at the table. No one replied. This wouldn't be the end.

 

Kaz approached her then, his hand landing delicately on her shoulder. Wylan and Jesper watched them in silence, seeing their movements, knowing that this was more than an invasion of privacy. They were witnessing something forbidden, something pent up, like yesterday at the Crow Club. They were witnessly Kaz leaning toward Inej’s face, closer and closer, until their lips were touching. 

 

They witnessed Kaz Brekker fully let go. 

 

They witnessed Inej Ghafa move on from the past. 

 

“Time to go.” Kaz said, his forehead touching Inej’s. 

 

There was some shuffling as Inej got her belongings together, some subtle glances, some sad smiles. There were hugs; lots of real hugs. There were tears, on Jesper’s part. And then there was the sound of the Slat door opening and Inej standing in the doorway. She turned to Kaz, but Brekker spoke before she could. 

 

“I’m not waving you off this time.” He spoke, his tone final. 

 

Something inside of Inej screamed, but another part of her understood. 

 

“But-- put this in your head, Wraith.” Kaz said, and for the first time in years, he sounded like Dirtyhands, the bastard of the Barrel. 

 

Inej’s heartbeat infiltrated her ears--

 

Wylan held onto Jesper for dear life--

 

Jesper wiped away the last of his tears, hanging onto their conversation, and--

 

Kaz Brekker looked up, scheming face on full show.

 

“You’re coming back, you hear me? I won’t lose out on my investment.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it then. This chapter is my favourite of the whole fic. I sincerely hope you enjoyed this, because writing this was the most fun I've had while writing in a long time. 
> 
> As always, find me @sparklybuck on twitter for more updates and a funny tweet or two.
> 
> Enjoy x


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